My daughter, Aninda, wrote the letter that I am going to post today.
Her letter truly left me without words, a knob in my throat and eyes filled with tears.
I never realized how the people in my life read my tears and sobbing, especially when I tried to hide them. Even bigger was my amazement to see what my daughter has learnt from my “brokenness”, as she calls it.
Our very being has a tremendous influence on the significant people in our lives. Let me rephrase. Especially when we think no one is watching, we can be sure that our actions and whole being scream at their loudest, leaving an everlasting impression.
I never realized the magnitude of the above statement until my daughter wrote me the letter posted below.
I hope that it will inspire you to leave a positive impact on the people around you. Life is a gift, make in meaningful, leave a legacy.
My Dear Mother
I am writing this letter to you to let you know what and how I feel. These past few months I admit I am not the best behaved or the “best” person I could be. Even though all this is happening and maybe in a sense you feel I lost my true self, I am here to tell you that I’m starting to find myself in being lost. We have had the conversation about my perfection issue and although you don’t always realise I do feel imperfect because of you. Now before you take that in a negative way may I shed some light on this perfection?
Through these past few years I have been taught more what life and love is about than I did my entire life. You, in a state of brokenness, showed me what perfection is and how one should strive for it. Although I distorted perfection, only now has it become clear to me that perfection isn’t all I made it out to be.
These years of being beautifully broken I find your shattered heart still screaming rejoice. You in all your ways taught me that perfection is to stand up for what’s right even if you stand alone. That a perfect life is not measured in the people around you but in the moment’s life is still good. A perfect life is not one where you pray standing up in worship, but where you’re weak on your knees sobbing at His feet.
See perfection never was perfect. Perfection was broken, beaten and full of chaos. Where people became perfect in our moments of fear. Where love shone through and taught us that our broken lives are covered in Perfect Love.
This all is what I only realised now. That you being your perfect self, I felt me being my imperfect self was lost.
Yet now, sitting here I realise that your imperfections scream perfection. Your weakness and doubt only made you more human than before. And I realise that God never asked us to be anything more than human.
So you taught me that by being broken, crying and well, lost, is part of being human. And we living as humans, full of our imperfection and faults, is the closest to perfection we can come.
We accept the bad, the good and all in between by not having this image obtained to us.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying Rock ‘n Roll, sex and drugs for life. I am simply suggesting that we strive to a life like Jesus but that how we get there is just part of our imperfect journey becoming perfect.